Before our first viewing I read a stack of buying guides on Global Real Estate Consultants and came away feeling ready for anything. I brought a notebook, a torch and a list I never opened. What I did not bring was any idea of what a bad ceiling looks like.

We viewed the house on a Tuesday morning. Quiet street, empty pavement, lovely. It took two more visits to work out that the same street turns into a car park at school pickup, and that the pub on the corner runs a loud quiz on Thursdays. Walk the street at the time you would normally be at home, then walk it again on a Saturday.

Inside, I now look up first. Ceilings tell you things floors hide. Brown rings, flaky paint, a patch that has been painted over in a slightly different white: all worth a question. Corners too, especially behind furniture and where the wall meets the ceiling. Run a hand along the skirting if you can get away with it.

Open every window, all the way, not just a crack. If it sticks, the frame has moved, and that is either damp or settling. Turn on the hot tap and wait. Wait longer than feels polite. While it runs, look under the sink for fresh sealant or a bucket. Whatever heats the water is telling you something.

Ask why they are selling, and listen to how quickly the answer comes. Take photos of everything, including the things you are sure you will remember, because you will not. We compared three houses on the train home and got two of them mixed up. Photos are free. My memory is not.